The other day, WarOnGuns posted a quote by Alvin Police Chief Mike Merkel from a story at Click2Houston.com:
Correspondent Mack, who first alerted me to this story, tells me Merkel is running for sheriff.
In the interests of presenting the chief's citizen defense platform to his voting constituents, I've taken the liberty of preparing the following billboard prototype to illustrate what I've decided to call "Merkel's Mall Maxim":
See, it's a...a metaphor. The gunman could be either the mall shooter or one of Merkel's "Only Ones" qualified enough to engage and return fire, and the cow standing still, too witless and helpless to act in its own defense, represents... uh... you in Merkel's eyes, or at least someone who would vote for him.
If the campaign decides to use these billboards, they can also be adapted. For instance, the caption could read "Like Shooting Cows in a Barrel" or...I don't know. Feel free to leave suggestions in "Comments," below.
And if you're wondering why I didn't make one of those moving slide shows like I have for the "Burma Shave" signs, well, that wouldn't be very illustrative of Merkel's Mall Maxim, would it?
...Merkel said there are three things shoppers need to know if they are trapped in a chaotic shooting situation inside a mall.
First, stand still.
"They're going to pick out individuals who are running to or away from them," Merkel said. "Standing still may keep you from becoming a victim."
Correspondent Mack, who first alerted me to this story, tells me Merkel is running for sheriff.
In the interests of presenting the chief's citizen defense platform to his voting constituents, I've taken the liberty of preparing the following billboard prototype to illustrate what I've decided to call "Merkel's Mall Maxim":
See, it's a...a metaphor. The gunman could be either the mall shooter or one of Merkel's "Only Ones" qualified enough to engage and return fire, and the cow standing still, too witless and helpless to act in its own defense, represents... uh... you in Merkel's eyes, or at least someone who would vote for him.
If the campaign decides to use these billboards, they can also be adapted. For instance, the caption could read "Like Shooting Cows in a Barrel" or...I don't know. Feel free to leave suggestions in "Comments," below.
And if you're wondering why I didn't make one of those moving slide shows like I have for the "Burma Shave" signs, well, that wouldn't be very illustrative of Merkel's Mall Maxim, would it?