Ray? Mike Here. Hey, Could You Send Some of Your Guys Down Here to Shut Up Some Damn Crazy Woman Screaming Outside?

A silent lunatic attacked a female jogger in broad daylight on Sunday, beating her senseless just steps away from Gracie Mansion, cops said.
Fortunately, Furious Mike, who has around-the-clock taxpayer-funded armed security, was uninjured. He won't live in such a dangerous neighborhood anyway.

[Via Brian F]

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