We're the Only Ones Keeping it All in the Family Enough

Imprisoned Gallatin County Sheriff Raymond Martin, his wife and adult son are facing charges of solicitation of murder for ire. [More]

Murder for ire? He's mad? It's a typo? 'e's a potential protégé for 'enry 'iggins?

That's in Illinois, in case you were wondering, where Sheriff Ray, et al. are the "Only Ones" trusted enough to carry guns. Everybody else is just too damned scary to the unorganized mil...uh...general public.

I suppose if he's got a contract out on you, you can always resort to a few other time-tested, Illinois State Police-approved defense tactics, including:

1. Vomit
2. Surrender
3. Scream (while poking with "a rat tail comb")
4. Pull the covers over your head.

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