Amtrak will start randomly screening passengers’ carry-on bags this week in a new security push that includes officers with automatic weapons and bomb-sniffing dogs patrolling platforms and trains.
Because it works so well at airports that do it full time, y'see.
Besides, we want to give Colin Feguson every possible advantage.
Amtrak stooges on full auto. The demonstrated level of professional security guaranteeing my safety somehow does not induce me to "rest assured."
Excuse me if the image that comes to mind instead is The Three Stooges accidentally setting a lion loose in the sleeper car. (Incidentally, that's Curly with the clothespin on his nose and the full head of hair--it was after his stroke, he was visiting the set and they had him make a cameo appearance, I believe the only time all three Howard brothers appeared together in a short).
[Via DONE! SEO]